Loosing Weight!!

“Start dieting! You plump, avoirdupois moron.” My mom shouted. Now lemme tell u something, I get that a lot. From friends, non-friends (relatives) and my ‘well wishers’.

I give all of them a simple explanation. I say, “I am as fit as a Stradivarius and have just three quadrilateral meals a day punctuated by sumptuous snacks.” Well obviously, they don’t buy my classy elucidation on my health and suggest me to join a gym. And my father insists me to go for a jog at 5’o clock (in the morning, of course!!).

Now as I am much of an ascetic person so I give them my theory. I say these fitness centres a.k.a fat burning walls are just wallet reducing, penny sucking monsters. No matter how hard you try you can’t reduce weight. I’ve seen people outside the gymnasiums scrounging for food and eat whatever their hands lay on. It may be pohaas, samosaas, kachoris etc. Oh sorry! I forgot jalebis. So, I was saying, these health conscious people loose their ‘consciouses’ outside the gyms. And these gym owners get an extra share of money from the food vendors.

I don’t care whether zero-calorie gateaux sprinkled with truffles will taste as good as the well-caloried ones. I just eat them and enjoy. Many people (the three kinds explained in the first para!) say to me (well! Actually they admonish me) that because of my weight I will be humiliated in front of everyone. Well I say to them that I’d love to be the centre of attraction. Why does a person have to be judged by his physical appearance? Why can’t we (the healthier ones!) do a bit of that ‘austere living’ made fashionable by the Mahatma and the Gandhis of our own? Do we really need to jog everyday to make others happy? I know its good for us but lemme ask you one more question “Can you jog reversely and gain weight?”

The answer is a blatant “no”. Then why to take such pain and do the stuff which you don’t want to. So, I make an appeal to all those guys (and gals!) who are a bit healthier than these normal or let’s say skinny people to not take seriously the so called proffers about our health and enjoy life to its fullest.


without wax
I.I